“The self, once perceived, becomes the soul.”
I’ve never talked a therapist before. I’m used to handling things on my own. If I go to therapy, doesn’t that mean that I’m weak?
No. There are many misconceptions about the purpose of therapy, and what it might ‘mean’ if someone sees a therapist. We often hear that something must be wrong if a person needs or wants therapy, or they must have a diagnosable mental illness. You’ve taken the first step by coming here; I hope that we will have an opportunity to talk about your beliefs and what you may have learned in your life about weakness and vulnerability.
I believe that there is no weakness or shame in asking for help, expressing emotion, or being vulnerable. I didn’t always feel that way, and I understand that we live in a society that doesn’t generally support seeking help or admitting difficulties in our lives. I believe that seeking therapy may be one of the most valuable things that you do to take care of your well being, and you do not have to face the challenges in your life alone. Perhaps not everyone needs therapy, but everyone can benefit from it.
I’ve been to therapy before, and it didn’t work for me (or I hated it). How do I know this will be different?
In many ways, finding a therapist who is a good match for you is a bit like hiring any other professional – sometimes you have to try a few before you find the right fit. Therapy requires a lot of trust and emotional investment, so in this case it may be a little more difficult to know right away if your therapist is providing you with everything you need.
Therapy can sometimes be challenging, involving unexpected emotions and painful symptoms of physical, emotional, interpersonal struggles and all types of trauma. It’s critical that you feel supported and safe in those moments, and that your therapist is an ally and advocate for you.
What’s the difference between talking to my friends and family or talking to you?
A therapist is meant to be an objective, non-judgmental resource available to you, for working through the issues and goals that you choose. When you work with a therapist, there are laws protecting your confidential information, professional boundaries that structure a therapist’s involvement, and a competent therapist will have been trained to understand human development and behavioral patterns. A therapist may be able to offer you a safe, informed, and unique perspective on the issues present in therapy.
Should I just take medication?
In some cases, medication can be beneficial for individuals and may be most appropriate course of action for treatment. Only a medical professional (such as your doctor or a psychiatrist) may determine your need for medication and provide prescriptions. For some individuals, therapy in conjunction with medication is the most helpful, and many others determine their own unique path towards health and well being. Referrals for individuals to receive medical care can be provided as appropriate.
Do you prescribe medication?
No; only clinicians with a medical degree can prescribe medication (often your general practitioner, a psychiatrist, or a nurse practitioner). Sometimes clients can find it helpful to attend therapy while they are seeing a doctor for medication management.
What should I expect at the first session?
In the first session, you can expect that I will provide you with information regarding both the therapeutic process and the business side of working together. I will go over informed consent, confidentiality, preliminary paperwork, my contact information, and payment procedures. We will also start to talk about your primary reasons and motivations for coming to therapy. The overall goal of our first session is for you to understand what you can expect from the process, and for you and I to get to know each other and decide if we make the right fit.
What do I have to do in therapy?
What you gain and achieve from therapy will depend on you and your objective(s) for the process. I ask that you arrive for scheduled sessions on time, make an effort to commit to our time together and practice honesty in session as best you can. The rest will depend on our mutual assessment of whether we make a good fit together, as well as your investment in therapy.
how often do clients go to therapy?
I prefer that new clients begin with weekly sessions, so that we can gain some momentum towards your goals as we get to know one another. Over time, sessions can move to bi-monthly, and then check-ins as needed. We can celebrate your ‘graduation’ together!
How long will it take?
The duration of therapy is different for everyone. The decision to continue with therapy following an initial session is a mutual agreement that we will reach together. Some individuals have specific, short-term goals, while others may prefer to spend a longer span of time working on desired outcomes. The length of the therapeutic process will depend on your personal objective(s), commitment to therapy, and the development of our relationship.
Individual sessions are 50 minutes, with an option to extend to 80 minutes upon request.
My partner and I are having problems. Should we be in individual counseling or couples’ counseling?
The decision whether to seek individual or couples’ counseling is ultimately yours. While I do not currently work with couples, it is common for couples to see a couples’ therapist, along with each partner in the relationship seeking their own individual therapist.
What if there are more than two people in my current marriage or romantic relationship?
Ethical, non-monogamous relationship styles are welcome in therapy. A well-trained and competent clinician can work with you on all forms of relationship challenges, and therapy can be a very positive and safe place to explore your personal, interpersonal, intimate and/or romantic needs and concerns.
In therapy, you should never feel judged, discriminated against, or pressured to meet the social norms or constructs of a dominant group.
Why would I choose a Marriage and Family Therapist if I want to come in just for myself, or to talk about issues that have nothing to do with my personal relationships or my family?
Marriage and Family Therapists (MFT) receive training to work with individuals, as well as couples, multi-partner relationships and families. If you want to work on goals or issues that are not related to relationships, working with me may still be a comfortable fit for you.
MFTs generally view each individual as part of a larger system, where we are all affected by the relationships with the people around us. Additionally, the issues or goals that you want to work on in therapy as an individual may be affecting your relationships or your ability to maintain healthy relationships.
How do I know when therapy is over?
Therapy is voluntary, and you may choose to end therapy at any time. Otherwise, the decision to complete therapy is one that we will make together based on your needs and objectives.
Is what I say confidential?
Trust, privacy, and confidentiality are critical to a healthy, safe, successful therapeutic relationship. It is very important that you feel that you are able to share personal information about your life with your therapist, without feeling that you will be judged or that the information you share will be used against you. All registered or licensed therapists and counselors are required to follow strict legal and ethical policies in regards to confidentiality, set in place to protect each client.
Material discussed in therapy, as well as your choice to seek therapy, is confidential. The laws and ethics in place to protect clients also include exceptions to confidentiality, which include suicidality, child abuse, elder abuse, harm to others, and court orders. There may also be circumstances in which your therapist has communication with your health insurance in regards to treatment, or contact with parents for treatment of a minor.
In your very first session, we will have a discussion about Informed Consent, when I will carefully go over all of the rules in regards to confidentiality, so that you feel informed, comfortable, and aware of your rights and my legal and ethical obligations.