“Knowledge wants to talk. Wisdom wants to listen. ”
One of the hardest things about getting up the courage to talk to someone is finding the right person in the first place. It can be tough to choose a therapist and begin working with them, only to start all over if they aren’t the right fit. Here are some suggestions for beginning your search.
Working with a therapist can be challenging! Working towards meaningful progress can take a lot of work – but you should feel like your therapist is in your corner when tackling those challenges. If you do not feel supported or comfortable with your therapist, don’t give up! Perhaps it’s not the right fit, and it’s worth the time and effort to find the therapist who is just right for you and your needs.
How Do I Choose the Right Therapist for Me?
How To Find the Right Therapist - Esther Perel
Ask friends and family. Sometimes, someone you know already has experience with a good therapist. Ask what they liked about them, and what they didn’t.
Call a local resource. Many local institutions can provide suggestions and recommendations to you from lists they have created. Colleges, universities, counseling or career centers and local physicians may have suggestions for you.
Shop online & do your research. A Google search for local therapists is often a good start. You can view websites, testimonials, reviews, and see how you feel about your first impressions of a therapist’s advertising and internet presence. Keep in mind that therapy is confidential and clients don’t often speak publicly about their therapists, so reviews and testimonials aren’t always available and this isn’t necessarily a negative. Is it important to you for them to have a functioning, current website? How much about a therapist do you want to know in advance? Have they made it easy to set up an appointment, or contact them for more information?
Theoretical Orientation. Many therapists will provide information for the approaches they use, and many therapists use different methods. You may be attracted to certain approaches, and uncomfortable with others – take a look around and see if you are drawn to certain philosophies or theories.
Gender. Many individuals have a preference for the gender of their therapist. Take this preference into account – it could be important for your treatment and progress.
Pay attention to how you feel. Your first impression of a therapist, even if it’s just their website, should be a positive one. You will hopefully be able to choose a clinician who is welcoming, communicative, easy to reach and who provides clear information about their background, qualifications, and approaches to therapy.
How Do I Know If I Have A Good Therapist?
During a session with a therapist, consider some of the following questions:
Do you feel safe?
Do you feel not only listened to, but heard?
Do you feel supported?
Do you feel comfortable? And if not, has your therapist made it a safe space to explore your discomfort?
Do you feel like your therapist understands the reasons you’ve come to therapy?
Do you feel like you’re making progress?
Do you feel like your therapist can understand what you have been through?
How do you feel when a therapy session is over?
What are the Red Flags?
When you express a thought or emotion, do you feel judged?
Do you feel like you have to edit what you say to your therapist?
Do you feel like information you share in therapy isn’t private or confidential?
Does your therapist offer you advice or suggest what you should do outside of session to solve problems? What happens if you don’t follow their suggestions?
If a therapist gave you a diagnosis, did you understand the diagnosis you were given?
How do you feel when a therapy session is over? Are are you considering not returning for your next session? If so, is that something you feel like you can bring up with your therapist?